Grief Ripples Out, But So Does Hope
Trigger warning: this post discusses a suicide attempt.
In September of 2000, 19-year-old Kevin Hines attempted to take his life by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, California. He had been struggling with paranoia, hallucinations, and depression, he had been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, and he had been convinced that he was a burden to all those who loved him. He saw only one way to escape his pain.
Still, just as he launched himself into free fall, Kevin felt instant regret.
God, please save me, he thought. I don’t want to die. I made a mistake.
Statistics show that one person goes to the Golden Gate Bridge to attempt suicide every 7 to 10 days, with over 98% of these attempts being fatal. The bridge has been nicknamed “the suicide magnet of the world.” It is estimated that only 26 people have survived the jump, one being Kevin Hines. Most will say they felt the same regret as Kevin – they didn’t really want to die.
For twenty years since that day, Kevin has dedicated his life to using his story to inspire hope in others struggling with mental health challenges. Suicide: The Ripple Effect offers a glimpse into Kevin’s life before and after his jump, chronicling his world-renowned career in advocacy and motivational speaking, and his personal journey through mental health and healing.
On the day of his suicide attempt, Kevin’s father came to see him in the hospital. Through heavy sobs, they immediately apologized to one another. Kevin recalls the conversation for Marcus Butler, a retired US Coast Guard officer who came to his rescue that day, as the two float under the Golden Gate bridge in a small motorized boat.
“Both of our immediate reactions for what I did there,” Kevin laments, looking up at the bridge, “Was guilt.”
Guilt, followed by rage and fear. Later, Kevin recalls how much rage his suicide attempt had sparked in the people he loved; he recalls the pain and the grief all around him. He once asked his father, years after the jump, if he still feared Kevin’s death by suicide. His response? Every time the phone rings.
“My actions did that,” Kevin laments. He imagines his father’s intense anxiety as he feels his cell phone buzz in his pocket.
It’s true that Kevin’s suicide attempt brought much grief into the lives of his loved ones. It’s true, too, that his survival, and his willingness to share his story, has inspired so much progress in mental health advocacy and in the lives of countless struggling people.
Among the many dedicated advocacy workers Kevin meets throughout the film is one crisis line counselor in Georgia, who happens to be a big fan. He had heard Kevin tell his story at a pivotal moment in his life.
“You saved my life, man,” he says earnestly. The two share a long, warm embrace.
Kevin has also inspired Christy Frecceri, a trauma nurse, to speak at conventions around the country about Golden Gate Bridge jumpers. She tended to Kevin in the hospital following his suicide attempt. She was shocked to read Kevin’s chart and discover what had happened to him.
“I hadn’t ever thought of such a thing in my career,” she says to Kevin, remembering that fateful day that changed both of their lives. She hopes to use Kevin’s story to educate other nurses about caring for a patient who has experienced physical and mental trauma.
“They call that the Ripple Effect,” Kevin says, smiling down at Frecceri’s presentation notes.
Likewise, Kevin’s father Patrick Hines became involved with the Bridge Rail Foundation, a non profit organization dedicated to erecting a suicide deterrent barrier along the Golden Gate Bridge. It is personal for many participants, having lost a child, a spouse, or a friend to suicide by bridge-jumping.
“They’re not going there to die in front of a beautiful bridge,” says Kevin of the bridge-jumpers, “They’re going because of a four-foot rail; because it’s easy.”
Most large buildings and high public attractions have suicide barriers – the Eiffel Tower does, as well as the Empire State Building – but the initial proposal to install such a structure at the Golden Gate Bridge was met with criticism. Patrick Hines says the main reason was preserving the bridge’s beauty. Still, according to the Bridge Rail Foundation’s blog, suicide deterrent structures will soon be installed at the Golden Gate Bridge.
Experts interviewed throughout The Ripple Effect emphasize that restricting access to physical means is just one piece of the prevention puzzle. We also need to change how we talk about suicide, and how we support one another in our journeys to mental wellness.
David Covington, President of American Association of Suicidology, criticizes our culture for waiting until we lose a struggling individual to suicide to talk about it.
“I think we have many, many more examples of people who’ve found a way to survive, to cope, to find supports, and in some cases even thrive,” says Covington, “But we’re not telling those stories.” He expresses his admiration for Kevin, who has used his survival story to touch other struggling individuals, and give them the hope to choose living. “I think there’s a huge opportunity as we talk about stories of survival to support people who are out there who are in pain,” Covington says.
Kevin Hines knows that hope is not an action plan, but it is a necessary starting point.
“If you can give a hopeless person hope, they can turn a corner,” he says. Now Kevin is equipped with the emotional tools and the loving support he needs to manage his symptoms, though his Bipolar disorder has not gone away. He is seen throughout the film sharing embraces with his wife, father, and friends.
“He actually goes through something — whether it’s mania, or depression, or paranoia, or suicidal ideation — something, every day there’s something,” Kevin’s wife, Margaret Hines, says of his life now. “But because he is taking care of his wellness, he manages it so well. He has a support system — me, our friends, our family — and he knows that he’s always in a safe place.” A mobile phone video plays of Kevin, formally dressed, dancing in the aisle of a pharmacy.
Though Suicide: The Ripple Effect engages with some heavy subjects, it is not a somber film. Kevin Hines teaches us that some good can come out of the trauma and tragedy of suicide. We feel the “ripple” of suicide for better and for worse: a whole community grieves one fatal attempt, but one recovery can inspire hope in so many struggling people. The Ripple Effect is an earnest, tender, enlightening watch — and Kevin hopes that it’s the beginning of a movement.
“No matter the pain you’re going through today, or the people you love are going through today, they can have a better tomorrow,” says Kevin.
To learn more about suicide prevention worldwide, visit the Ripple Effect web page here.
Rent The Ripple Effect on iTunes or Amazon. See Kevin tell his story for Buzzfeed here.
You Are Not Alone: What Local Experts Want You To Know About Suicide
Last Friday, The NAN Project Peer Coordinators Lizzie MacLellan and Shilpa Thirukkovalur sat down to speak virtually with Mayor of Cambridge Sumbul Siddiqui and psychiatrist Dr. Camilo Acuna from the Cambridge Health Alliance about suicide prevention, mental health, and COVID-19. Broadcast live on several social media channels, this conversation with local experts was meant to destigmatize mental illness and recognize the role each individual can play in preventing the suicide of a young person as part of the city of Cambridge’s Suicide Prevention Month efforts.
Mayor Siddiqui explains that the importance of this conversation is even more critical now: as we enter the seventh month of the COVID-19 pandemic, many of us are experiencing heightened anxiety and worsening depression due to social isolation, financial instability, and health concerns. Some of us may be experiencing these symptoms for the first time in our lives. The Center for Disease Control recently reported that a quarter of young adults ages 18 to 24 have seriously considered suicide during this pandemic.
When asked to weigh in on the impact of COVID-19 on young folks’ mental health, Lizzie refers to what we call “risk factors,” attributes or traits that make a person more likely to consider suicide. Lizzie explains that certain risk factors have been heightened by the pandemic, such as loneliness, aimlessness, and instability — especially for high school students, who are missing out on certain rites of passage and other coming-of-age experiences, now that many schools have gone remote. Lizzie also explains that the behavior of a person at risk might look different in COVID-times. The NAN Project teaches students to look out for a friend who is isolating from others. While we are all isolating for our physical safety, this might instead look like not showing up for virtual hangouts, not answering phone calls or texts, or an uncharacteristic absence from social media.
Lizzie advises viewers to look out for drastic changes in mood, behavior, or appearance, and to reach out right away to a person displaying these warning signs of suicide.
“Ask the question,” Lizzie insists, and what she means is it is vitally importantto ask a young person directly if they are thinking about suicide if you notice some of the warning signs. Most untrained individuals are hesitant to mention suicide to a young person in their life, for fear of putting the idea in the person’s head. The NAN Project teaches students that asking about suicide will instead give the struggling person an opportunity to open up about what they are feeling, which is the first step to getting support. The next step, Lizzie advises, is to take that information to a trusted adult.
On identifying a trusted adult, Shilpa says this is simply someone who makes the young person feel heard, validated, and safe. For Shilpa, this adult was her father. In a case where a young person feels uncomfortable to bring up a mental health concern with a parent, Shilpa suggests approaching a teacher, a coach, or the school guidance counselor.
Therapy is something this trusted adult might suggest. Dr. Acuna discusses the myriad of telehealth options available during the COVID-19 pandemic. He says he is surprised how many young people have found this mode of therapy helpful — maybe because it is less intimidating for a youth to try therapy from the comfort of their bedroom, rather than in the unfamiliar environment of the therapist’s office. Of course he notes that teletherapy comes with its own accessibility issues, such as young folks not having access to a stable internet connection or a private place to talk.
Mayor Siddiqui asks her guests to suggest how LGBT youth and youths of color might go about finding a therapist who fits their needs. Shilpa says that while there aren’t enough therapists of marginalized groups, it is important for young people to find a therapist who respects their identity and their culture.
“It’s not something you should compromise when looking for care,” Shilpa says. “Many therapists are still learning, and are willing to educate themselves – as long as the respect is there.”
“It’s something the field still needs to work on,” Dr. Acuna agrees. “There’s a long legacy of racism, of misogyny, of homophobia and transphobia in the medical system, and mental health Is certainly not an exception, unfortunately.” Dr. Acuna advises young people to feel empowered to change providers until they find someone who makes them feel safe.
Given the undeniable importance of mental healthcare, the speakers emphasize that you don’t have to be a mental health professional to support someone at risk for suicide.
“Suicide prevention is something we can all do – you don’t have to have all the answers,” Lizzie says. A young person supporting their friend can make a call for them to a suicide hotline or a mental health professional, walk with them down to the school’s guidance office, or simply be with them while they make their own plan to reach out to an adult. Further, we can all educate ourselves about the signs and symptoms of a mental health concern, as well as work to become more comfortable discussing mental health.
Lizzie uses the example of someone with a broken arm: people would show sympathy, help them carry their bags, ask how they’re doing or what they need — without judgement.
“Mental health and suicide don’t have to be different,” she says.
Mayor Siddiqui and her guest speakers leave viewers with an important message: if you are struggling, you are not alone, you are cared for, and help is available.
The full video is available to watch here.
ED-SAFE: A Study in Suicide Intervention
Original study by Edwin Boudreaux, Carlos A. Camargo, Ivan Miller, & “the ED-SAFE investigators.”
As we continue to learn from home during this strange fall semester, The NAN Project brings to you a quick bit of suicide prevention science.
The ED-SAFE study, published in 2018 by the Massachusetts Department of Mental Health, echoes some truths about suicide prevention that The NAN Project brings to high school classrooms: 1) the first step in suicide prevention is detecting risk; 2) persistence is the key to supporting a person at risk; and, 3) intervention led by the person at risk is most successful.
ED-SAFE began in 2009 in response to a critical need for a suicide risk screener for patients in emergency departments. Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the United States, with one million people per year attempting suicide. Many individuals at risk for suicide are seen in emergency departments (“EDs”) for unrelated concerns. The ED-SAFE team argues that these are underutilized opportunities for suicide risk screening, and that to prevent suicide, ED-based screening and intervention for suicide risk must be developed. ED-SAFE aimed to test an intervention in which emergency departments screen for suicide risk using a standardized test, and initiate follow-up telephone contact with individuals who screened positive.
1,376 adult ED patients were enrolled in this three-phase study, the third of which produced the most enlightening results. Phase three had testing sites implement a three-component intervention for patients who tested positive for suicide risk: first, a second screening to determine the level of risk; next, a personalized safety plan, with a guide to local outpatient mental health resources; and lastly, a series of phone calls to the patient by trained mental health advisors for a full year following the initial ED visit.
It should be noted that treatment was not assigned to the patients (beyond check-in calls), nor were they pressured to comply with a treatment they had no part in developing – it was the patients’ decision to reach out for help using the provided resources. We know that it empowers the struggling person to lead their intervention, and that they are more likely to stick with a treatment they initiated.
Results of ED-SAFE’s phase 3 showed that universal suicide risk screening within emergency departments almost doubled suicide risk detection. We know that identifying a person at risk for suicide is the first step in preventing suicide. The NAN Project teaches “signs of suicide” in our classroom presentations and professional development workshops, enabling young people and the adults in their lives to recognize these signs in their loved ones. ED-SAFE also found that the multifaceted, long-term suicide prevention invervention tested in phase 3 reduced suicidal behavior in patients by thirty percent. Persistence is key when supporting someone struggling with thoughts of suicide: this communicates to them that we care. The NAN Project highlights this in our QPR suicide prevention training, in which we encourage participants to ask a struggling person “the question” – namely, are they thinking of suicide – and to be sure that they follow up later on.
The results of ED-SAFE demonstrate that a multi-component, persistent, patient-led suicide intervention is most successful. The research team predicts that their efforts will inform and accelerate the adoption of best practices for suicide prevention across diverse health settings, which would save countless patient lives.
The official Psychiatry Issue Brief on The ED-SAFE study can be found here.
As we work to become better supports to ourselves and the people in our lives, let us keep these findings in mind. And remember that there is help, and there is hope!
The Weight of Gold: Athletes and Mental Illness
The NAN project knows that in a society where depression and suicide are still heavily stigmatized, fostering honest discussion about mental health can literally save a life. When our Peer Mentors open up about their journey back from a dark place, we send the message that no one who struggles is alone, and that recovery is possible.
These are sentiments of HBO’s new documentary The Weight of Gold, a must-watch for sports fans and mental health advocates alike. The film investigates the connection between elite athleticism and psychological struggle, drawing on the experience of several Olympic competitors. There is an assumption that their global fame and incredible skill mean that these superstar athletes are confident, fulfilled, and happy — Michael Phelps, the most decorated Olympian of all time and the film’s narrator, says this is part of what makes mental illness so difficult for his peers to talk about. The hour-long feature invites us to consider how Olympians are uniquely at risk for suicide, and how we can do better by them and those close to us who may be struggling.
The athletes featured in HBO’s film all agreed that training for the Olympics requires a powerful, sometimes toxic hyper-focus on sport.
“I didn’t develop outside interests,” recalls Jeremy Bloom, two-time Olympian and world-champion American skier. “I had a singular focus on my sport.”
“I thought of myself as just a swimmer, not a human being,” Phelps adds. He had no confidence in himself outside of his sport.
The athletes agreed that when it came to training, all other things were secondary: hobbies, education, and even relationships. We know that lacking a support system is a major risk factor when an individual is considering taking their life.
Adding to this harmful emotional environment is the incredible criticism Olympic athletes face, from the media, from fans, and from themselves.
“I was driven by [thinking I was] inadequate,” Bloom remembers. “Every day, I wasn’t good enough.”
Lolo Jones, an American track and field athlete, can relate. The moment she hit a hurdle at her first Olympic competition was immortalized on global television and haunted her for years.
“I had no one to help me through that,” she laments.
There is an immense pressure for Olympic athletes not only to perform physically, but to appear in control of their emotions. Sasha Cohen, the 2006 Olympic figure skating silver medalist, recounts how she fell twice in the first thirty seconds of her performance. It was difficult for her to hold herself together, but she felt it was her responsibility.
“You need to show the world that you are strong,” Cohen explains. “And so if you were to say, like, oh, I have mental issues, like, that just cracks the facade of trying to show the world that you’re impervious.”
We know that too many struggling individuals are feigning wellness to preserve their careers, their relationships, their image – surely there is even more pressure to do so when one is broadcast live to every corner of the world.
If the heat of the Olympic spotlight was not enough to test one’s emotional regulation, a new challenge looms when athletes return home.
“After every Olympics, win or lose, I’ve felt a dramatic emptiness,” three-time Olympic gold medalist Shaun White explains. “Just because your whole world is built around this one day… after the Olympics, there’s this incredible crash.” After competing, White reckoned with near-unbearable feelings of isolation and aimlessness.
Many athletes struggle so intensely with post-Olympic depression that they turn to reckless and self-destructive behavior, and some consider taking their lives. Phelps recalls thinking there was only one way to ease his pain after his second DUI arrest in 2014. He didn’t realize at the time that he wasn’t the only retired Olympian who considered suicide.
Jeremy Bloom recalls the time Jeret “Speedy” Peterson confided in him that most days he did not want to be alive.
“I thought of Speedy as someone who is so happy and so successful,” Bloom said.
Peterson ended his life in 2011. He is far from the only Olympian to complete suicide – Phelps calls it an “epidemic.”
One might ask why these struggling athletes did not seek help. Phelps attributes this partially to the Olympians’ conviction that they can make themselves unbeatable if they just work at it. The stigma that prevents so many struggling individuals from admitting to their pain also weighs heavily on superstars like Phelps and his peers.
Though such an immensely important issue calls for more than a single hour-long feature, The Weight of Gold is an honest, tender, informative step in the right direction. The conversation is not over: Phelps urges the Olympic institution to take action; he encourages athletes to speak up and seek help; and he teaches viewers that anyone, no matter how talented, famous, or wealthy, can struggle with their mental health.
“It’s as much a part of my life as being a husband or a father,” Phelps says of his healing.
If record gold-medal-winning Olympian Michael Phelps can recognize his depression and embrace professional help, let us all feel empowered to seek what we need to heal, too.
A Different Kind of Summer with The NAN Project
While COVID may have slowed down many industries and left folks physically isolated, The NAN Project and our Peer Mentors kept hard at work and socially connected all summer! One of our major initiatives during the typically slower, sunny months of school vacation was our 2020 Senior Peer Mentor Training! The goal of these 8 weeks of workshops was to support our Peer Mentors, while also keeping them active and engaged, and prepping them for what was sure to be a very different school year ahead. It was also an opportunity to provide educational development to our incredible young adults by bringing in an array of outstanding guest speakers that helped us all build skills for use both at work and in our everyday lives. We invited a different guest speaker to each Wednesday of our two month training to talk about different topics related to mental health, social justice, emotional intelligence and much more!
Two of the outstanding presenters were current and former NAN Project staff – Rachely and Greta! Both covered different therapeutic methods that our Peers might find helpful in their recovery, and can also teach others about. Rachely introduced us to Wellness Recovery Action Plans (WRAP), and covered how to identify stressors, create a wellness toolbox, and develop a daily plan to maintain strong mental health. Greta educated us about Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFST), a type of therapy that looks at ourselves as different parts, and focuses on healing the wounded parts as a part of recovery. Learning about IFST helped our Peers think about their own recovery in different ways.
We also invited Jon Mattelman to present about anxiety, specifically, what it can look like in middle and high schoolers and how to support them if they are struggling. This was valuable because we work with young adults and knowing more about how they can experience anxiety will help us get them to the support they need.
Additionally, we had speakers talk about topics that were relevant to the pandemic and current events. We had Hannah, a grad student from Salem Statem, present a workshop titled “Beyond the Rectangle,” which covered what Peers can do to feel alive and happy during a virtual presentation (skills just about everybody can use these days). Thinking about self-care activities that they can do before, during, and after a virtual presentation will help our Peers approach their work in a way that feels rewarding and prioritizes their mental health. We also had Maryanne, a longtime friend from the Department of Mental Health’s YouForward in Lawrence, present a social justice training with the help of our Senior Peer Coordinator, Lizzie, and our Peer Coordinator, Shilpa. They spoke about how COVID-19 affects Black people disproportionately in what is called the Double Pandemic, what systemic racism is, and how to be a better ally to people of color. We had a really engaging group discussion with our Peers and they had many personal experiences to share.
In light of this pandemic, the importance of developing emotional intelligence and strength is important now more than ever. We brought in inspirational speaker Kurt Faustin to introduce us to the concept of emotional intelligence through a training titled “Learning the Ingredients to Become a Better You”. This covered the importance of how developing a supportive community and helpful coping skills can affect our lives positively and help us develop emotional intelligence. Our Peers really enjoyed Kurt’s enthusiasm and we look forward to having him back!
Another important piece of the training was our weekly small group work, where we created projects for Suicide Prevention Week. Each of the four groups did a wonderful job producing very unique ways of promoting mental health education and suicide prevention. Our first group focused on the importance of a trusted adult, and our Peer Mentor, Margaret, created a story about how a trusted adult impacted her life. Group two decided to examine how mental health is portrayed in the media and we will be posting their reviews on our social media in the coming week. Group Hope! created inspirational social media posts and a personal story about mental health and recovery, and our fourth group made beautiful artwork to raise awareness for suicide prevention. We are so grateful to our Peer Mentors for all of their creativity, hard work, and commitment. Make sure to keep a lookout on our social media over the next week so you can see all of their amazing content!
Nanner Virtual Hangouts
Our staff has been hard at work with a lot of different virtual projects over the past couple months! Our twice-weekly Zoom hangouts have been one of the more fun projects, allowing us to stay connected with our Peer Mentors during this period of physical distancing. Most times, we get between 15 and 20 folks to join for the one hour sessions, each of which has an intentional theme such as boundary setting, connection, creative expression, self care, and movement.
These Nanner Hangouts are more than just a time to hang with our team; we’re also piloting lesson plans each time. Using surveys our Peer Mentors fill out, we seek to ensure the content and objectives are both engaging and helpful. Once we have refined the lesson plans, and made changes based on the feedback, we upload the plans and accompanying slide shows to our website so that teachers can download them for free. We have also run a couple lessons for students, and expect this may be one of the main ways we’ll interact with schools in the fall.
If you know of a school that might benefit from using our lesson plans, point them to this page and they can check them out for themselves! Keep reading below to learn more about what these lessons cover and how we run our Nanner Hangouts.
Boundaries
This multi-session lesson covered a few different types of boundaries – rigid, porous, and balanced. A person with rigid boundaries tends to keep others at a distance, be hesitant to ask for help, and very protective of personal information. The lesson teaches that porous boundaries apply to people who tend to overshare, and who are dependent on others for opinions and put others’ problems before their own. It is often difficult for people with these boundaries to say “no.” Healthy, or balanced, boundaries are somewhere in the middle of all three types – a person with healthy boundaries will value their own opinion while considering those of others, communicate and assert their needs, and is able to accept when others say, “no.”
When Lizzie and Fernanda ran this Hangout, they also went into how boundaries can fluctuate between rigid, porous, and healthy, depending on the situation and type of people you are with. For example, if you are in a college interview, your boundaries might be more rigid – you wouldn’t necessarily talk about the meltdown you experienced last week because of stress. But if you were having the same conversation with a friend, talking about your struggles would be helpful and it can evolve into a deeper conversation.
There are many different domains of boundaries as well – physical, emotional, material, intellectual, and time. This Hangout focused a lot on interpersonal communication and emotional boundaries. This type of boundary focuses on when to share personal information and feelings, and communicating desired responses to those feelings. A balanced emotional boundary is one where everyone’s feelings are validated and respected. Finally, we reflected back upon our own balanced boundaries, and used what we had learned to have a discussion about creating and maintaining boundaries, which can become even more challenging during a period of physical distancing.
Connection
One of our Senior Peer Mentors, Greta, led us in a fun Nanner Hangout using the “clap” response emoji to answer questions. We answered everything from “Clap if you used a coping skill in the past week,” to “Clap if you’ve ever sung karaoke.” The mix of funny, lighthearted and more serious questions was great, and I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard since that day. Getting to know each other is something that we’ve all missed from our usual Nan Project work and I am enjoying learning the things I have in common with others that I was not aware of.
Creative expression
I led a creative expression activity where I posed two prompts and had participants answer in any way they wanted to. The prompts were focused on how our past experiences have shaped us and helped us grow. We gave advice to our younger selves and we thought about how we have grown in the past few years. Utilizing the Breakout Rooms feature on Zoom, we got into groups of three and discussed our responses. For the last part of the activity, we came back together and answered one more question about things we were looking forward to in the future. We used a cool program called Menti to create a word cloud with all of our responses in real-time. It was fun to focus on future goals, and it was a good motivator and mood-booster for us! Here is a picture of our word cloud!
Movement
We’ve been lucky to work with two art therapists throughout our hangouts, who have incorporated art and movement activities. Alex, led us in a few different movement activities, including yoga, stretching, and bringing awareness to where we feel stress in our bodies. We focused on tension and stress release, relaxation, and deep breathing. We also demonstrated how we walk when we are feeling positive as opposed to when we are having a bad day. That brought smiles to a lot of our faces, and also helped us recognize that our posture and body language can make a noticeable difference in how we feel!
To end our hangouts, we have been doing a variety of activities, like listening to empowering music, answering riddles, and meditating. We have had a lot of fun and learned quite a bit during these hangouts, and we are excited to share them with you!
Please check out our COVID-19 resources page for some great material. From myself and on behalf of everyone at The NAN Project, we sincerely appreciate your support, and we can’t wait to resume in-class presentations in the future.
The helpers are out there
I recently saw the movie “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood,” a look at the life of Fred Rogers (a.k.a. Mr. Rogers, the children’s TV character who wore button-down sweaters and sang the song of the same title as the movie). I didn’t really know what to expect, but I heard it was getting great reviews, and I like Tom Hanks’ movies, so I thought I’d give it a go.
It turns out that the light-hearted man we see in front of the camera was actually dealing with a lot of turmoil when the cameras turned off. These challenges gave him a lot of insight, and this movie shared a lot of his inspirational thoughts and wisdom. I loved the reminder that there are lots of good people and things in this world, an important thing to remember when it seems like we are only hearing about the bad things.
I came across a Mr. Rogers quote that really resonates with me, and I want to share it with all of you:
This quote gives me great comfort, because it reinforces the fact that the scary situation is being handled. The amount of people stepping up to help combat the virus – from healthcare workers to children making signs of encouragement and everyone in between – restores my faith in humanity. When we all work together to stand up to this virus, it will be eradicated and we will resume our typical daily lives. I want to remind you that there are helpers out there that want to support you. If you are having a difficult time with your mental health, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also check out our website for resources specific to COVID-19, as well as general mental health resources: https://thenanproject.org/covid-19-resources.
Mental Health & COVID 19
Early on in my journey to mental health recovery, I learned that, on a societal level, there is a big discrepancy between the way we treat mental health and the way we treat physical health. Think about this example:
Say you fall down and break your arm. You have a cast, which all of your friends want to sign. Maybe you get balloons or cards with well-wishes on them.
Now imagine that, instead of a broken arm, you are diagnosed with anxiety. The racing heart and fear you feel are very real and scary – but no one can physically see that. Your friends may not even notice that you are feeling these things. You are not sent cards or balloons with uplifting messages on them. Even when you do tell people about your diagnosis, they might not know how to react or what to say.
Now, let’s think about this difference in terms of the current COVID outbreak. I don’t know about you, but I have seen countless articles and news stories about the physical symptoms of this illness, where to get tested, precautions to take, and how to take care of yourself and others around you if you are sick. I have seen maybe two news stories about the mental health impact of COVID. Don’t get me wrong, the physical signs are important – but so is mental health.
If you have experienced a mental health issue, you have probably heard at least one clinician tell you not to isolate yourself from others – so this period of staying home and isolating yourself from others is counterintuitive of what we are told by our treatment providers. This can be scary and very lonely. I wanted to offer some ways to cope with this tough situation.
-Although we may not be able to meet in person, we can communicate with video chatting (think Zoom, FaceTime, Google Hangouts, etc.). Seeing the faces of your friends and family can really be a mood-booster!
-If you are not sick, spend time with others in your house (as opposed to isolating in your bedroom or another room in the house). I have found that jigsaw puzzles are a really good way to bring my family together, as well as working together to cook a meal (and, believe me, learning to cook will come in handy!).
-Ask a friend or family member if they want to watch the same TV show as you, and you can talk about it as you go. This can help you feel connected without actually being together! You could also play video games together, or read the same book!
This time will not last forever, even though it may feel that way right now. It is a long haul, and it can be emotionally draining. It may seem impossible to feel positive at this moment. From myself and everyone here at The NAN Project: Remember to HOPE (Hold On, Pain Ends).
Taking the “Un” out of Uncertainty
By Senior Peer Mentor, Alison Sabean
If you struggle with a mental illness, you may find that your symptoms are getting more intense. I have personally been more depressed, irritable, and anxious than usual – so I know that it’s a lot to handle (as if this social distancing/isolation stuff is not enough in itself).
You may feel like there is not much you can do about your symptoms, but there are little things you can do to help manage your illness. Creating some structure and routine to your day can give you a sense of normalcy and certainty, and help you stay on track with things you need to get done, like schoolwork.
- Here are some tips I have personally found useful:
- Make your bed in the morning after you get up.
- Make a to-do list every day. If you feel stuck coming up with things to do, put things on the list that you know you will do, or need to do (showering, eating meals and snacks, brushing your teeth, etc.). Crossing off an item on a list can give you a sense of accomplishment, which is so important in the creation of a routine.
- Outline the next day before you go to bed each night. That may look like an hourly schedule, a list of tasks broken up into morning, afternoon, and evening, or some other format. Be creative and find what works for you.
- Create a bedtime routine. Maybe that means setting an alarm on your phone for a certain time to start getting ready for bed, then brushing your teeth, washing your face, and doing a relaxing activity for a little while (like meditation, yoga, coloring, writing, etc.).
- Find a project to work on and devote a little bit of time to it each day. Do you need to clean out your bedroom closet? Is there an art project you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time? Maybe you have always wanted to learn another language, or learn how to cook. Clean out your email inbox and voicemails on your phone. Now’s the time to do these things!
- Find healthy coping skills that work for YOU and turn to them whenever the need arises. Watch a funny TV show, journal, sing, punch a pillow…the possibilities are endless! While we’re on the subject, another important coping skill is to limit your time watching the news. We can find ourselves fixating on the negative things going on right now, and that is not helpful to us.
Here at The NAN Project, we know that these circumstances are difficult to deal with, and we encourage you to reach out to someone if you are struggling. If you know someone who is struggling, take some time to check in with them. Ask them how you can help. If you are worried that the situation is more than you can handle, you should always bring it to an adult you trust, like a parent, school counselor, teacher, coach, or another person who can help.
Remember that you are not alone in this. There are a lot of people who feel just like you do, and we will all get through this together. Remember, There is Help and There is Hope!
The NAN Project & COVID 19
Dear Friends,
It is pretty incredible how quickly things have changed for all of us at The NAN Project, and I suspect for most of you as well. I truly hope you have managed to find somewhere safe and comfortable to wait out this storm with loved ones and those close to you.
At The NAN Project, our work has been directly affected by the coronavirus – all of our classroom presentations are suspended, teacher professional development is postponed, peer mentor trainings are delayed – and though it might appear at first glance that The NAN Project would come to a grinding halt, this has NOT been the case. While this evolving situation has required us to take a giant step back from our typical peer-to-peer, in-class work and rethink how we do just about everything, our goal and mission have not changed in the slightest. We will continue to get our message out there about the importance of emotional well being and mental health supports for young people. I am so proud to say that our team has truly rallied to make the best of a difficult situation.
Pretty soon after Governor Baker, prudently closed down schools for the safety of everyone across Massachusetts, The NAN Project Team was right back at work (digitally) figuring out how we would support our communities and young people in this time of need. It didn’t take long to realize that the isolation and lack of structure many students are now facing would be extremely stressful, scary and unsettling. To combat this, our team is now producing online programming intended to create connectivity and reinforce the sense of routine and self-care among young people. In the coming weeks we will be rolling out both live streamed virtual content, as well as downloadable programs and resources for schools and communities across the Commonwealth (links to resource guides for 1) young adults and 2) caregivers/educators). We have started piloting these 30-60 minute programs with our amazing Peer Mentors (with whom we’ve remained in daily contact) and plan to begin offering it to student groups at our partner schools in the coming weeks.
While this has been a steep learning curve for all of us, I couldn’t be prouder of our team for all that they are accomplishing and the enthusiasm they bring to work each day. All this is to say that The NAN Project is going strong during this time of uncertainty.
I’d like to end by thanking you, the many friends of The NAN Project, for all the words of encouragement, suggestions, and ideas you have passed along to us. We thrive off of this positive energy and are extremely appreciative of your support during these strange times.
In addition to our beloved mantra There is Help and There is Hope, today I would like to add, Stay Safe and Stay Healthy.
Warmly,
Jake Cavanaugh
Executive Director – The NAN Project